I have been in a loop, a snake eating its own tail. I've got work to do, words to write, people to help. I've got pending requests and approaching deadlines, and all I can do is sit here and watch internet videos of people falling down, or getting bit by geese. This is not block, which I am convinced is not real, but is a word used by someone who doesn't understand their own story. I've got stories that I understand. They are there, all queued up, I've got ten days to complete a tricky bit of storytelling, a strange parallel world and it is important, and not just to me. And yet, I'm crushing candy, I'm watching stupid TV. I need some rest. I need to stop resting. I am filled with this deep and pervasive apathy, a sense of futility, and the problem is, I feel pretty okay emotionally; I am just having a hard time seeing the point of trying so hard. Maybe I need to be less ambitions, maybe I need to just give in, and dedicate myself to the pay job, become
Here in the Black and White