Since I usually put up my stuff that is... emotionally demanding, shall we say, I thought I might lighten it up a little this time with a short I wrote quite a few years ago after I got a tooth pulled.
This one is dedicated to my Mom, who has had some recent tooth troubles of her own.
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Tooth Troubles
On Wednesday, the pain in my
tooth became unbearable, so I had it pulled.
The dentist let me keep it. I
didn’t want to let it go-- this thing has been part of me. When the numbness went away, I was so
relieved that the pain was gone, I laughed out loud.
On Thursday, I awoke to find the tooth lying on my
pillow, next to my head. “How did you
get there?” I asked the tooth. I put it
back in the little box that the dentist gave me, and thought about it no more.
On Friday, I awoke to find the tooth balanced on my
nose. I could only see it if I looked
cross-eyed.
“What,“ I asked the tooth, “are you doing there?”
“I didn’t know you could speak Tooth,” said the
tooth.
“I can’t.” I replied.
“Well I can’t speak People either” said the tooth. “One of us must be dreaming.”
“Sounds about right,” I said. “Well I should probably wake up now. I’ve got to go to work.”
“Wait,” said the tooth. “How do you know I’m not dreaming
you?”
“Teeth can’t dream,” I replied.
“Don’t be so sure,” said the tooth. I went back to sleep. When I awoke again, the tooth was gone.
On Saturday, I awoke to find the tooth again on my
nose.
“What are you doing there?” I asked the tooth again.
“Listen,” said the tooth.
“We gotta talk. I’m mad at
you. You did me wrong, brother, real
wrong.
“What?” I asked
the tooth.
“You had me pulled,” the tooth said. “That hurt my feelings. Now I’m homeless, and I don’t have a
job. After all I have done for you, you
fire me without any notice? You’re a
jerk.
“Wait,” I said to the tooth. “You were hurting me. I had to have you pulled, I couldn’t stand
the pain anymore.”
“Great,” said the tooth. “Think only of yourself. Now what am I supposed to do? I’m useless.”
“This is stupid,” I said, more to myself than the
tooth. “I need to wake up.”
“What for?” said the tooth, “It’s Saturday. You don’t work today. Plus, I’m dreaming you, so it’s
me that needs to wake up, and I don’t want to.
“Teeth can’t dream,” I said again.
“Well,” said the tooth, “I know quite a few molars that
would be very surprised to hear that. I’m glad you are such an expert on
teeth.
“Listen,” I told the tooth, “I’m sorry. I only wanted you to stop hurting me, not put
you out of work. Can’t you get another
job?”
“In this condition? Not likely. You see this hole? No one will want a cavity-ridden tooth in their
mouth. It’s all over for me.”
“Well what can I do now?” I asked the tooth. “I can’t put you back. There’s no hole anymore.”
“Hmmmm,” said the tooth, “I’ll have to think about this
when I wake up.”
On Sunday, The tooth was back on my nose.
“I got it,” the tooth said. “Make me into a
necklace. Then I’ll have a purpose.”
“What?” I asked. “That’s
ridiculous. I can’t have a tooth necklace, I work in a bank.”
“You could wear me on the inside of your shirt when you’re
at work, then on the bus home you could pull me out so I could get some
air. Maybe we could have a chat as well.”
“I can’t speak Tooth while I’m awake,” I reminded the
tooth.
“So what?” the tooth said. “I can still hear you, and that makes a
difference.”
On Monday, the tooth was in the box when I woke up. I took it to work, and on my lunch hour had
it made into a necklace.
Now, I have the tooth with me all the time. It’s just hanging around my neck doing
nothing for me except maybe embarrassing me from time to time. I think of getting rid of it a lot-
especially when it falls out at an inopportune time, like on a date, and I have
to make up some story about why I have a tooth around my neck. But then I think of how mad it would be if I
got rid of it, and how embarrassed I would feel if the tooth confronted
me. It hasn’t appeared on my nose for a
while, so that’s good. Yesterday on the
bus, a woman leaned down to tie her shoe, and a tooth on a chain swung out of
her blouse. She caught my staring and
for a moment, I was going to ask her about her tooth troubles, but then, I didn’t. Tooth problems are personal affairs, and no
one’s business but your own.
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I really like this one because it seems to have a hidden meaning. It might, I suppose; you're the reader, you tell me.
It is a nice piece, if a little strange, and one that I can actually read to my kids, which is hardly ever the case. I would love to see it made into a picture book.
If there is an illustrator out there that wants to collaborate, I have something else that needs pictures, too. Please contact me; maybe we can work together.
Still Writing,
RP
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Yep pretty silly. I would need to make a pearl necklace.
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