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Showing posts from May, 2016

Thoughts on the eve of the launch of my first novel:

Tomorrow, my book launches.  It will pass from my hands into yours, the readers, and it will no longer be my little secret, the little thing that I am proud of and happy about.  It will be yours, to do with as you wish.  Right now I'm sitting at my computer after having already sat in an office chair for eleven hours today for my day job.  I'm sitting here thinking about what all this means, if it means anything at all, what I'm feeling if I could only understand what I'm feeling, how I am supposed to be feeling.  I'm sitting here eyes burning, my back and hips are sore, I have been holding this posture since five this morning, looking at the keys instead of at the screen when I can

I am sitting here, thinking of before and after.  Thinking of before and after.

After tonight there will not ever be another first novel, another first time, there will never be another before, there will only be after.  And tomorrow will come and it will pass, and the next day I will go …